What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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