i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Even my vagina gasped.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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