So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
