my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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