i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Randomize
