I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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