Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
