super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
