But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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