You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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