so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
