Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
How external is "for external use only"?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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