I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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