I need help removing her.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
