Having a random hookup so left but love u
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You ruined the universe
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
