he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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