best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
