did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
