how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
operation harelip BJ is a go
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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