im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
