Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
