The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
