WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
