I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
