Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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