did you get engaged???
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
