We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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