I bet he comes in French.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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