so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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