Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
