Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
