remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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