YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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