I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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