We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
