Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
