I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
