We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
