He asked to "fluff my boner.."
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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