My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
