Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
