Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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