Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Come see our sink grown plant.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
