If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
