Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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