i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
