I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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