Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Randomize
