a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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