I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
