Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
