A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
